I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize