he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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