Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
