one two three fourrrrnication!
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize