Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
