He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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