She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
