Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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