I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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