My brain says no but my pants say off.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
