I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
