Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
