IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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