Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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