you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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