Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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