Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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