then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
