How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
