Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize