So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
