Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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