I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
