Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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