Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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