So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
