And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
