so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I touched a dick in church today
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
