I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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