I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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