Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
