im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
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