can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize