So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
