You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
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