I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
