Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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