Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
