thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
