she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
