I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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