I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
