When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
