do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish I only lived at night.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
