dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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