Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Blood and glitter go together right?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
