yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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