On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
