it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
