You smell like a Billy Joel song
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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