I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
