the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize