im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize