I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
