i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
