the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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