her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
