Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
