when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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