those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
