i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
