Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
