I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
