my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
