Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
