He is such a slut. More and more my type.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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