her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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