Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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