Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
