This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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