God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
