Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
