well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
