he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
