So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
