Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Drake has all the answers
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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