Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
