I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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